MERCHANDISE FROM CLASSIC FOREIGN FILMS

With the nationwide release of Toy Story 3 last weekend, a whole new generation of kids will be emptying their parent's wallets for Woody and Buzz Lightyear action figures, lunch boxes, underwear, can openers, and whatever other junk Disney-Pixar can plaster their pictures on.  And the producers are only too happy to add this windfall to a strong opening box office for a synergistic marketing-palooza.

What few people realize is that this is hardly a new phenomenon, nor is it restricted to mainstream films.   Our company, Jules et Jim et Ronco Novelties, Inc., is proud to offer you these selected items from our extensive catalog of classic foreign film merchandise.

THE SEVENTH SEAL CHESS SET

Whether you're playing chess with Death or worse, your mother-in-law, you'll love this finely crafted set with hand-carved pieces based on characters from Dante's Inferno and a board made from the shards of a discarded tombstone.  Carrying shroud is optional.

GRAND ILLUSION NECK BRACE AND MONOCLE 

So you think you're an anti-war protester just because you've waved a sign at a few rallies?  Show your true feelings by sporting these snazzy accessories worn by Captain von Rauffenstein (Erich von Stroheim) in Jean Renoir's powerful WW I fable.  They're sure to catch the eye and win the heart of like-minded pacifists of the opposite sex.

Un Chien Andalou eyeball razor trick

C'mon, nobody really believes that Luis Buñuel slashed an eyeball in the opening sequence, but the illusion is highly disturbing.  This gag is the perfect icebreaker for your next party and is guaranteed to make your friends spill their drinks and toss their lunches.  It comes with three prosthetic contact lenses and a 6 oz. bottle of vitreous humor.  Razor not included.

LA DOLCE VITA MODEL HELICOPTER WITH STATUE OF CHRIST

Taking your kids to a Fellini movie is like taking them to the dentist - it's wise to bring along a distraction.  This beautiful scale model will provide hours of fun for your children while you ponder the cinematic mix of religious cynicism and cultivated decadence.  The statue is detachable and has a magnetic base for dashboard mounting.

THE BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN BABY CARRAIGE

The Odessa steps are no match for this sturdy conveyance designed for our company by Inglesina™ and based on its popular Classica Pram Carriage w/ Diaper Bag Marina ($1,100).  Add armor plating for an extra $500 to put your mind at ease about those Tsarist troops.

THRONE OF BLOOD ARCHERY SET

If you've ever spent any time on an archery range, you know how boring it is to shoot at a circular bullseye target.  Our set includes a 30 pound fiberglass bow, 2 dozen arrows, and a life-size straw figure of Toshiro Mifune as Lord Washizu in full samurai armor.  Macbeth was never this much fun!

METROPOLIS TOY ARMY OF DRONES

While the rich live in luxury and ease, your set of 200 identical drones perform slave labor deep underground.   You lead the rebellion that brings them to the surface to destroy the existing order.  Hopefully, this will work out better for you than it did for Germany.

LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD SLEEP AID

Just pop this DVD into your deck and hit play for hours of restful sleep.