I DREAM OF BARACK WITH THE LIGHT GREEN HAIR

It's not bad enough that our president must endure scurrilous allegations about his birth, nationality and religion.  It's not enough that he is constantly barraged by the spittle-flecked ranting of the lunatic Right or that he is demonized by his opponents both inside and outside of the government as if he were Lucifer's community organizer.  It's not even enough that he was called a liar during his first State of the Union address.  For more than a year, President Obama has faced a grievous insult to his person and office that has made these other affronts seem like pleasantries.  I refer, of course, to the Chia Obama.

How is it that I never saw this travesty until a late-night commercial knocked me off my chair on Sunday?  The "product" was released in April of 2009 by Joseph Enterprises, Inc., which, besides the Chia Empire, has marketed the Clapper and the "Ove" glove.  The company's founder, 77 year-old Joseph Pedott, denied any racism in creating the novelty and said he even voted for Obana in '08 despite being a life-long Republican.  The item was quickly pulled off the shelves of many Walgreen's stores, but is still readily available at CVS, Target, and multiple online venues for the upcoming holiday season.

Personally, I don't believe Mr. Pedott had any racist intentions with Chia Obama.  The concept is simply too wacky to be a deliberate slur.  What I find amazing is that an entire commercial concern, staffed, I assume, by sane and savvy businessmen could come to believe that a proper and patriotic way to honor the leader of the free world was to crown him with a sod toupee.

I also dismiss the accusations of slander because Chia has recently seen fit to endow other symbols of America's greatness with green Afros.  Presidents Washington and Lincoln now sport the emerald 'do as does the Statue of Liberty, the latter requiring a rewrite of Emma Lazarus's famous poem:

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore beset by cranial pastures,

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost with turf-topt noggins,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Most astonishing of all is that this enterprise has come about without a nation-wide onslaught of derision.  Where are SNL, The Daily Show, Colbert, Letterman, Leno, and Conan regarding what would seem to be the comic bonanza of the century?  I'm a sporadic viewer to be sure, but weeks and months of monologues should have been sparked by this phenomenon.  It was said after 9/11 that the US had lost its sense of irony, but this isn't some arch witticism aimed at intellectual snobs - it's the proverbial barn door whose sole purpose is to be peppered with rocks.  I'm less afraid that the president is being disparaged than that the entire country is losing its sense of humor along with its sense of perspective.